this girl

http://cam-hofi.blogspot.com/2013/09/one-heart-two-places.html

I get it. She'll do fine.


Life is hard.  Life is wonderful.  I miss so much.  I have so much.

2 days

Yesterday I did get up with my alarm and it was fantastic.
and the reason I'm still writing it here is because I have no idea where Bro Funaki would like me to put this.  We were never clear on the format of this thing so it's going to go here until I can figure out what to do with it.  Also, this is easy because I'll just print it off.

I did.  I got up with my alarm clock.  And then I read a little bit and fell back asleep. 
I have a bit of a sleep debt, I realize that.  I've got a couch, I'll have to go read on that....or run first.  I've liked doing that in the past.
Yesterday Spencer and I spent time with Kaylee and Matt.  We're going to have to do things more often.  We found a swing, Spencer and I fell off the swing (but that was not my fault, no matter what he says;  we would not have fallen backwards if he wasn't tickling me and no, it is not my fault for being ticklish).  Oh heavens that was fun. 

Today I did not set my alarm because it is Saturday and I did not have any particular place to be.  I went to the Hukilau on Hukilau beach....no really.  They pulled in a net of fish and everything.  And I missed calls from people to go paddleboarding and goat's island...because I didn't have my phone.  But it's all good because I was able to meet with Alex, the ICHope presenter for the ENACTUS presentation team.
It sounds all official.  It is.
And this means <drumroll>  that the ICHope blog looks fantastic. 
You should visit it.  And like it.  And read it.  And....if there are things I'm missing let me know :)

I think I'll try and find Spencer now.  Maybe he and the family are back.  I certainly hope so.

random things that I don't want to make individual posts for

Let's start with the most important thing, shall we?  I live in a country that is mostly Buddhist.  I don't know very much about Buddhism.  I know that the priests aren't allowed to earn money, so they go around and call down blessings for people who give them rides, feed them, or give them money.   I also know that they do not celebrate Christmas.  This means that there is no Christmas music outside of my new favorite YouTube playlist.  My playlist lacks a lot of my favorites because there are weird restrictions on which clips can be put in what playlists in whichever country.  This being said, there are no Christmas decorations anywhere and I was rather sad about this, that is, until I *finally* went to the market and saw

CANDY CANES  and my buddy Resae.

And there was much rejoicing in the land.


I think that this is, by far, the most important American import ever.  So I bought the over-priced candy canes and chalked it up to growing the American economy.






Also, we made alphabet cards.  Funny thing about it is that the paint is washable, which is a good thing, but when little dots of it come off (and they do that because, let's be honest, small children are not the most careful painters) they stick to your clothes and then your clothes actually have paint on them because it is so humid.   It washes out, yes, but the paint never completely dries.  Here is the little thing that I made for the ICHope blog because if I post too many pictures, Google will start charging me for the use of their space.  I'm trying to limit myself....hence all the picture collages.























Like this one.  This is play-time.  They think it's really funny to do thumb-wars with me.  They cheat.  That is also very funny.  I'm pretty sure my bike is everyone's favorite toy.  I still don't understand any of their hand-clapping rhyme-game-things, but there you have it.

something GOOD

 Hi,
So I have these friends.
wait- she has friends- I know, that's a shock in and of itself, what is even more shocking is what comes next.  stay tuned.
They're pretty awesome.
They went with HELP International to Uganda this summer and started projects, served people, did HIV and AIDS awareness meetings, provided water filters, built schools and health clinics, took tons of incredible pictures (those are mostly on the first link there).  If you're bored and want to read some incredible stories of my dear friends who save the world, by all means, follow their blogs.

hands down, favorite picture of us.  taken right before they left by Bree

This is where my friend Lex found her calling.  She and one of the girls that went to Uganda decided to start a business.
It looks like this.
This is their facebook page.  Go 'like' it.  Right now.  I'm serious.
Lex is an incredible woman.  She went to byuh.  She taught as an intern at byuh.  She has been to China.  She has lived in Hawaii.  She went to Uganda.  She has taken pictures that she submits to National Geographic.  I remember her talking about needing to find a real job someday, but was at a loss for what she wanted to do.
Well, in this, she found it.  1000 Shillings takes high-quality products that women around the world make, and sells them to make money for these women to start their own small businesses.

1000 Shillings is applying for a grant from GOOD Maker and would appreciate your votes.  You can vote with your facebook account. 

 I don't want to be all "look at these good causes, lets click on something to make a difference".  Ghandi said to "be the difference you wish do see in the world".  I'm skeptical of the promise that clicking something makes life better for someone somewhere.  But as I'm learning more about the mysteries of the internet, I've learned that it can make a difference.  If I didn't blog, I wouldn't know.  If I hadn't come to Cambodia, I wouldn't know.  If I didn't work for the Online Department, I wouldn't believe that the Internet can make such great things available.  Most importantly, I have never seen Lex so happy,- and I'm across the world, I can't even see her- but her excitement was almost tangible.  Filled the room with joy- which was nice since I'm the only one here now.  

more footage

hello blog readers :)  we have some clips on the YouTube

On our way

We started our journey at the Canal house, where we were picked up by Natalie and her mom-in-law in a red truck.  Yes, a red, short-ish truck.  All of our stuff fit in the back.  We got pulled over for speeding and found that the officer who had stopped us had served in the military and did a tour in Cambodia in the 1980's.  It was cool talking to him.  We didn't get a ticket.
We breezed through check-in.  Soon we were on our way via KOREAN AIR.

Fly Korean Air.  You'll thank me later.

We flew over Japan.  By the time we flew over Japan, it was Tuesday instead of Monday.  So I waved and sang 'Happy Birthday' to my dear cousin, Elder Bame.  Didn't plan that.

The Korean Airport is beautiful.  McKae and I did some traditional printing because it was the activity of choice.

Then we boarded the plane, Korean Air again, to Phnom Penh.  There was a fair amount of turbulence. But finally we were in Cambodia!


On Wednesday, which was Tuesday night for you on the other side of the world, we explored a bit.
First, we went to the grocery store and the market.
Something you should know about traffic here.  There are no rules.  Well, there are, 1) Moto drivers must wear helmets 2) Watch where you're going.  You would think, by looking at how many vehicles are on the streets, that there are a ton of accidents all the time.  We've been here for a few days and we've only seen one accident.  It was between two motos.  Small kine accident. I think Cambodia people are better drivers because they have to be very aware of everyone around them- otherwise they'll get run over.
The food here- well everything here, but mostly the food- is very cheap.  Cambodia uses the metric system.  I think, deep in my brain, I knew that.  I'm not quite used to it. There is a, you know, slight language barrier.  It is so weird to be the minority tongue here.  Cool, but weird.  It tests your brain to see if there is any other way to get the point across.

After the market, we went to buy bikes.
In the terms of general population, I'm tall.  Compared to my family I'm not that tall, but I'm pushing 5'10''.   The bike store had 1 bike that was my size.  There was a different one that they had me try but the handles were really close together and my knees got in the way of my steering.
So we had our bikes.  Something that we didn't really think of until we were getting ready to leave was...how are we getting our bikes anywhere?  We have no idea where we're going, we don't speak the language, we have no idea how to deal with traffic, and we've only been in the country for about 14 hours.
I'll upload the video to YouTube later.  Natalie has it.
We followed the car- and the car drove slowly- to the orphanage.

CICFO
We walked into the orphanage and the children met us in the courtyard.  They greeted us with hugs- which is difficult because I am substantially taller than they are and I still haven't quite figured that out yet.  The kids lined up and introduced themselves.  "Hello my name is ____, I am ____ years old.  Nice to meet you."
After their adorable introductions, the kids sang for us.  They began with A Child's Prayer.  When was the last time you heard that song?

Heavenly Father, are you really there, 

and do you hear and answer every child's prayer?

I was a goner.  I started crying, it was terrible.  They're orphans and it was one of the sweetest, most touching things I've ever heard.  The thought that immediately followed yes He does, he knows you're here and he loves you was  Neco told me never to cry in front of Southeast Asians because they'll think you're crazy.   I started to sing with them to stop myself from crying.  We got through the rest of A Child's Prayer, I am a Child of God in English and in Khmer (pronounced kuh-my), Listen to the Still Small Voice, and I think there was one more but we'll leave it there. 

A few of the little girls started doing a traditional Khmer (kuh-my) dance for a few minutes and then we were done with the formal meeting and we went off to play.  McKae and I played with the kids for a few hours.  The taught us their games, they communicated in broken English, we ran around playing Tom and Jerry, duck-duck-goose, some other Khmer running game.  They showed us their dogs.   Oh man these kids are so cute!  

When it was time to go, the little ones bid farewell with more hugs and a few of the older children guided us back to Botevy's house so that we wouldn't get lost.  

The end.  There are lots of pictures on facebook that you are welcome to view, I can't post very many here.   

Life just got real.

Remember that time that I told you I was planning on going to Cambodia and didn't get the internship?

I got an email today and I'M GOING TO CAMBODIA!
Tentative leaving date is September 25th.
The other intern is the lovely Miss McKae.

For a little more information about the Cambodian International Children Friend Organization, click the name. 

My life is a dream. I don't actually believe that this is really happening.  I'm both excited and scared out of my mind.  Mostly scared out of my mind. 

what I haven't told you

It's time I filled you in on the story.


"Who wants to go to Cambodia?" said Dr Bradshaw, my favorite orchestra professor during a class early this term.
Ummmm....who doesn't want to go to Cambodia.  Totally raised my hand.
A few minuets of a little talk, an email, and a pamphlet later.....also about 5 hours later because I worked until 9....I called my mom. 

There is an opportunity for 2 buyh students to go on an internship with an organization called ICHope.  ICHope works with CICFO- the Cambodian International Children Friend Organization.
In a nutshell, the internship is at an LDS Orphanage in Cambodia where you will teach english and computer skills for a whole semester. 
That is something that I am highly interested in. 

credit- www.theglobaloutreach.org

Why?

• I really like orphanages.  That's an odd sentiment, I know, but I honestly have considered working with an orphanage in another country for a long time; more so since my cousin Chelsea worked with one in Central America.  I just found out about an organization that takes volunteers for any amount of time available-- like instead of vacationing during Christmas break you could go work in an orphanage for 3 weeks-- very cool.   I've always been able to see myself working at an orphanage, caring for children that are not my own.  This is an idea that I'm very comfortable with.  To my young mind, orphanage 'moms' were single, loving, happy ladies- something I aspired to be.   *Side note- Something I realized recently is that I've always envisioned myself as a mother and it's something I actively think about and work towards. I've never thought about or actively worked towards being a wife; my list for 'things I want for my kids' puts the 'husband list' to shame.  I feel this has an impact on why I am, well, me.*  I decided not to make this a career because-- dude, I get heartsick when something little doesn't work out quite right for a good friend, I dislike seeing others in emotional pain, and I am really quick to judge people.  I wouldn't trust anyone to adopt my kids and I know that is how I would think of them-- they would be mine.  Mmmmm, not healthy. 
• Also- teaching English to kids (and adults?) will be a really helpful experience when I become a speech pathologist.  A clinical SLP sometimes has to work with patients that, due to brain or muscle damage, almost have to re-learn to speak.  It'd be helpful.
• I think an underlying reason I'd like to go is because, secretly, I'm not ready to leave.  It may be like an escapist principle.  If I go away to do an internship, I have to stay here longer to get the classes that I missed.  I'm not ready to move on, I haven't learned enough.
• I'm free to go now.  I'm not tied to anyone here, it's a great semester to go, I don't anticipate being any more able to get up and take off for 3 months in the future.

BUT before I talked to anyone connected with the internship, I spoke with Brother Belnap who said yes, I could walk back onto the choir in January and still be able to go on tour to New Zealand/Australia next summer.   I talked to Dr K about working from Cambodia and the ability for me to package this as a music internship so I can receive school funding.  I talked to Dr Bradshaw and he'll forgive me for not being in the orchestra.  I talked to my academic adviser who adjusted my map and gave me a 'go for it'. I talked to the Health Center, and yes the school insurance covers students on school sanctioned internships.  I talked to career services to see about some of the internship standards and policies; most importantly, how many internships I can do-- if I do this one, can I still do one with the Shropshire Music Foundation?  The answer was yes, yes I can. That, for me, was the last piece of the academic puzzle.
Then I emailed Natalie.  She is the lady who set this thing up with the sisters in Cambodia.
I had an interview with her on Tuesday evening.  I felt very much at peace immediately afterwards.  I knew there were other applicants.  I knew that the decision was in God's hand.  I was able to pray, not for me to go, but for the right people to go. 

ps- these are bracelets that the children make.  The byuh SIFE team sells
them as a way to generate funds for the orphanage.  I totally have one,
I have for like a year now. 

 When I first found out about this and seriously considered it I called my mom.  My mother told my family- she was at a family reunion, it was inevitable.  It's been weeks, but I didn't want to proclaim 'I'm going to Cambodia' and then not be able to go.  I especially did not want to do that to my friends here.  My leaving affects them more directly than it does many of you.  I could be in Cambodia now and the only difference it would make for some of you is that this blog would be more interesting.

I was supposed to find out on Friday.  I postponed checking my email until late afternoon.  Waiting for an email stinks.  I didn't receive it until bout half an hour ago.

I didn't get it.  

That doesn't mean I will absolutely not be able to go though.  The coordinator is talking to the director about maybe bringing me over just to teach music.  Chances are slim, but I want to get the CICFO director and Liz Shropshire in touch with each other so maybe we can take the Teaching Children Peace Foundation to Cambodia next summer.

All in all, this has been quite an adventure.  I've learned a lot about myself and others.  I've grown and I know much good will come of it.  And I will, since I've told you this much, keep you informed.

be well informed

I've known about the war in Uganda/Central Africa for a while now.  Before I had a blog... 

but this is big.

http://visiblechildren.tumblr.com/

and then http://s3.amazonaws.com/www.invisiblechildren.com/critiques.html

I encourage you to watch the movie and read the criticism and then the response to it.  Follow all of the links, they are all interesting. Then, form your own opinions.  Do something or do nothing.  Either way, I am a fan of being well informed.  Know what is going on in the world around you.  Realize what people are going through to change it.



Oh, I want to reach out and make it stop.  I want to give everyone a home and a family.  I want them to have hope for the future and an education to make it happen.  I want them to have the tools to become self reliant.  I want to take their hands and guide them to a happier life.  I hate seeing people in pain. 


But- remember when Osama Bin Laden died?  Everybody was so excited and happy- "finally he is dead!  the world is a better place!"  I don't like that.  The death of one person should not be a cause for rejoice.  Should Kony be stopped? Absolutely.  Should we want God to smite him with fire and brimstone?  Should Joseph Kony feel the pain that he has inflicted on generations of African children?  Should we slaughter him without remorse?  No. Thankfully, it is not our place to do so. 


I think we must remember that, once Kony is gone (and Kony's cronies), there are thousands of men and women who have gone through decades of terror.  Nobody can replace what was taken from them.  We cannot erase years of abuse.  There will be mental instability among these abductees.  What skill sets do these soldiers have?  What education level?  What hope can we give them after Kony is gone? I don't know what we can do for them.  Can we do anything?  They have been trained to have no remorse.  Violence does not phase them.  They are fantastic hit-men.  Many of them probably do not form emotional ties for fear of having to sever them.  How do you reconnect the dis-connected? 

Social workers- Trauma specialists- psychiatrists- doctors- volunteers- care packages....I'm sorry.  No.

Temple in Ghana

The only answer I see is God.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- Day Saints would bring humanitarian aid, education and training, a way to self-reliance, peace, hope, knowledge of heaven... you can say to a kid that had to kill their parents "You can have your family forever and they will love you, they will not hate you for everything you have done.  You can have the power to bring them together."   I can think of nothing that could heal that mind than this belief.

Invisible Children is sending some of the kids to school....
Shropshire Music Foundation can teach them to play the pennywhistle- they can whistle away their heartache.....
The UN will continue providing handouts...

But- music does not speak to everyone the same way, not everyone in a society can be doctors and lawyers and politicians...you need basic skills so that you aren't dependent on entities handing you things.

I have no doubt that Kony will be removed.  I don't know about this year, but it will happen.  People are stepping up; but I can't see many people that would or could do so when he is gone and there are tens of thousands of broken people left to pick up the pieces of their lives.

If they knew what I know, they would live in comfort and hope as I do.  But you can't microwave Faith....or peace....or independent living...or healing.... There is a way, but it takes a lifetime.

Only Him

In conclusion- I am an idealist.  When Kony is gone, The Church should try to take Africa by storm.
The end.

opening doors

So, today I joined the BYUH Shropshire Music Foundation club....group....organization....thing.

This is their website.
SMF provides free instruments and instruction to children war-torn countries.  I first heard of it about a year ago.  I thought it was slightly silly and ridiculous.  Why music?  They need food, they need safety, they need peace, they need shelter, they'll need jobs- so you're going to teach them to play the penny-whistle? the harmonica? the ukulele?  What good is that?  Liz Shropshire came into my Chamber class today and talked about what she does....and it makes sense.  I'm right- the children in Uganda and Kosovo need food and shelter; but that won't stop fear or provide comfort and sanity in their lives.  I suppose music can.  It seems like such a small thing.

SMF is going to send groups of byuh students starting this summer.  Maybe not this summer, but I think this is something I could do.  I don't know when or how or where, I'm only just starting to understand why; I'm not sure of anything.  I'm in the 'pondering' stage, but it's an adventure just toying with the idea.