holes in my toes

on account of me being a klutz--- I dropped a plate of dino-nuggets on my toe.  My big toe on my right foot.  (don't worry about the dino-(chicken)-nuggets, Alayna rinsed them and put them back in the microwave and they were still good).  I've actually wondered why we don't call our big toe our 'thumb toe' and our little toe the 'pinky toe'.  I call the little guy the pinkie toe usually....but there you go.  So I dropped a plate smack dab on my toe.  And that's okay, I drop things.  It happens.  But later on my family and i and our cousins and some family friends......but don't get confused.....were going to to see Annie at spring mountain ranch.  For this, I had to go into the Garage (messy messy messy maze of terror and junk) and get the stadium chairs and picnic blankets (and while I was there I got the camp cot and the sleeping mats and bags for my sisters who go to Girl's Camp next week).  As I walked into the Garage and started to climb over all the stuff to get to the stuff I needed, I realized that my foot would not do it.  My toe hurt :\  I'm not pouty.  It really hurt.  It wasn't really warm or throbbing, but it hurt.  And so- this is what you do:

my dad did this for my mom's fingers a few times.  she went through a phase where she slammed her fingers in the car door once every month-ish. 

I've also done this previously when I ripped my toe and part of my nail off because I was almost late to my HS proficiency.  I sat there taking my Math test while my toes bled almost the entire time- the proctor thought I was insane when he found out. 

ANYWAY-  The pain is caused by blood pressure under your nail.  The digit may be warm to the touch, sometimes you can feel the throbbing, you can feel your pulse in your finger/toe.  Well to relieve the pressure you can do a few things.  1) rip off the nail, 2) cut off the toe- just kidding, 3) cut the nail to let the blood out, or 4) what I did.

1) You take a paperclip- you can sterilize it, but really, you don't have to because fire kills things anyway.  2) Unfold the paperclip so you have something to hold it by and you can control the movements of the tip of the paperclip but it is far enough away so that when you do the next step you don't get hurt.  3) hold the paperclip next to the stove.  That's right.  The stove.  It helps is you have a gas stove.  I've haven't had much success at an electric stove.  You hold the end of the paperclip in the blue part of the flame until it gets red-hot.  It will turn red.  4) Burn a hole in your toenail.  I'm not kidding.  That is how you do it.

It takes me a few times heating the paperclip to do it, but it is effective eventually.  Note- this hurts.  Your nail heats up really fast and the heat causes pain in your toe.  The blood under the nail heats up quickly as well---not comfortable.  You don't have to press down with the metal to burn the hole.  You nail simply melts. 

It is kindof scary- but it feels so much better afterwards.  I let out A LOT of blood.  A lot more than I thought.  No wonder my toe hurt. 
Well, there you go- I will have a hole in my toenail for the next few months.

tada!  none too shabby

I'm the only person in my house brave enough to burn a hole through my own toenail when that's what it takes....but not everyone in my house as needed too because they aren't as clumsy as I am. 

Not really random note- I mentioned that we went to Annie.  It was cute.  There was the most adorable 4-year-old playing one of the orphans.  SO CUTE.  Not the point- There was a special apperance for this one night and one night only.  Meaghan Jette Martin- who plays 'Tess' in Camp Rock- was going to be in the show during the NYC song.  It is a cute song I like it.  I don't know who she is.  I haven't really seen Camp Rock, but all the little people were excited.


this is her

 So she comes on stage, makes a big-ish entrance.
Then she starts to sing.


she was terrible. 
I hope she was sick.  Nobody famous for being in Camp ROCK should be a bad singer.  That's just sad.
It changed keys a few times and she never got it, she was better in the lower register, but still terrible.  It was sad.  She was really out of breath.....I hope she was really sick yesterday.  I really hope that auto-tune isn't that advanced to make someone so apparently tone-deaf sound good. 
At the end- the curtain call- we all clapped for the people and then she comes on and most of my family stopped clapping (RUDE) but I hear all these little kids screaming for her.  Did they not just hear her???  nutty. 
Granted, I have sung before and I do choirs and classes and I have scholarships for it, so saying this may not mean as much to the cliche, but even I can sing better than that.  But, there you go.  It is what it is.