Wife list

My sister made a "Husband list".  After being asked to again and again in Young Women's activities-- through time capsules, scrapbooks, lists, boxes, firesides-- you find yourself stuck in this idea. 

And I'm not an expert or anything.  But when I was where she is, I realized that any list I made was quite a tall order.  One of my favorite teachers, Mr Mast, once said that any list of qualities for an elusive future spouse was simply making a list of your own favorite qualities, and under no circumstances would you want to marry yourself.   Alayna's picture list is a perfect example of those sky-scraping expectations.

And I'm just really glad that the Scotsman didn't ask me to BE a list like that.

After all, are you [women in general] as charismatic as Kristin Chenoweth?


Is your hair as perfect as Taylor Swift's?

Are you as smart as Amita [Numb3rs]?

 Or as witty as Tina Fey?

Are you as put-together as Kate Middleton?

Are you as fit as Jillian?

Can you sing like Idina?

Are you as loyal as Old Yeller?






 (coincidentally one of the only movies that will make a man cry)







 Are you as practically perfect as Mary Poppins?


Do you command respect like Colette?  



Do you have the fortitude of Eowyn?

 Or the no-nonsense-ness of Leia?


Is your heart as open as Jane Goodall?



Do you do as much good as Birte Klung?

or Oprah?

Or my friend Alexis who helps impoverished women get seed money to start their own small businesses in order to sustain themselves and their families?

I'm not.

I don't.

Sometimes I wish...

How demoralizing it would be,

to be held to such a standard.

To constantly compare myself to the media enhanced versions of people.

Especially since as a general public, we already are. 

But to be, in an interpersonal relationship,

imposed by these expectations.

.......

I submit that everyone has a touch of each of these.  

Every woman has that perfect moment that could only belong to Mary Poppins. 

Something will touch a nerve and suddenly you are standing for something as fiercely as Eowyn.

You'll see someone in need and you'll give freely of yourself, like Alexis or Jane. 

Once or twice you'll be empowered to keep to your workout goal.

And once, your hair was absolutely perfect AND you have photographic evidence of it.

Yesterday the Scotsman told me that one of his favorite things about me is that I am imperfect. 

I have freckles on the back of my neck and to the side of my chin.  

I have more scars than he does.

My toes and fingers are usually cold. 

My hair is fine and seems to get everywhere, even when I have it pulled back. 

I have the infrequent blonde moment. 

 I'm really proud of some of the things I've done.

And some thing I've done, I'm really not proud of.

And I'm happy.

 A year ago, I started my own list.  I didn't post it, I'm not a brave as Alayna.  I haven't shared it, not even with the Scotsman, though he knows I have it.  But my list was of things I wanted to be.  The things I wanted to be for me, the things I wanted to be for whoever HE was going to be, the things I wanted to be for my children.  It was a list of the things I already am, and a list of the things that I want to be. 

Choose yourself.  Choose your Love, and love your Choice.